Physical, emotional, mental. The 3 different types of pain that a person can feel. The last two weeks, I have been battling them all, more than usual.
Last Monday I lost my Uncle Dean, who was always the life of any family event. He had so much love in his heart, his whole life was focused on his family and friends. I could count on him to always help me out when I was growing up. He would get me a summer job if I needed one, let me paint his store because I was complaining that my brother got to wash his boat for money, and always always would be the first to help me with a Florida vacation. He was, in short, an amazing man in so many ways. He will be so missed.
That same day, we lost our only pet, our little fish Blizzard. You never realize how much you talk to an animal until they aren’t there to pretend to listen.
To add gasoline to fire, my uncle’s funeral ended up being the same day as one of my best friend’s destination weddings, which we had a trip to Cabo planned for. Because Ryan is in the wedding, he left for the trip this morning, and I am left behind. But I would never have chosen differently if given the position again, family always comes first.
At this point, my emotional and mental pain had hit all time lows. I hadn’t felt this depressed in years. I couldn’t stop crying and drinking myself to sleep. I wasn’t eating and therefore getting sick most mornings. It was bad.
As we all know, once your emotional and mental pain are negatively affected, your physical pain follows suit. I could barely move my body, barely get out of bed, not to mention the apartment. I was unintentionally isolating myself during an incredibly tough time.
And then I realized, the only reason Ryan and I hadn’t adopted a dog yet is because we were waiting until after we came back from Cabo, so that we wouldn’t have to leave a new dog for a week while we were gone. That reason was now void!
Within days I got all of my ESA documents in order and we had adopted our new baby and the most loving dog I have ever met, Bagel!! I will post more about her separately, but she has instantly stolen my heart and given me a huge sense of purpose in life.
Pain effects everyone differently and when it comes in all 3 forms, it can be completely debilitating and life altering. I could not be more grateful for the solve of a loving animal, but had she not been an option I don’t know what I would have done to snap out of it.
Time heals all things I suppose.
Well, except chronic our pain, ha.