The pain wakes before my eyes do
Not that I was sleeping, my body doesn’t remember what its like to sleep through night.
Forcing myself out of bed, feet on the warm floor as I stretch my neck in all directions,
Needles accompanying every movement.
A shockwave of electricity captivates my shins and
I break, falling back onto the mattress, resting before trying again.
While in the shower, tears grip at my eyes.
The water feels like daggers on my skin,
The temperature burning or freezing, never reaching a level of comfort.
Racing through the pain and finding relief in a plush robe, I collapse onto bed with
Wet hair soaking the pillows.
With deep breaths and a focused mind,
I brave the vanity once again.
Continuously being shocked with pain while standing at the mirror,
I scream in agony in my empty apartment, the sounds vibrating against the walls.
No reason to waste time on eyeliner,
I can’t get the tears to stop forming at my eyes.
I rest again, finally do my hair, and dry my eyes one last time.
My bed again becomes my haven as I struggle to pick out an outfit.
The pain is so great in my collar bones that
I have to wear a soft shirt. The material grips at me regardless,
It weighs a hundred pounds and pricks at my back.
I’m finally ready for the day,
But I’m already too exhausted to move.
I push away the thoughts of giving up and calling in sick,
I put on the mask that is my smile,
And I force myself out of the comfort that is my home.