Last day of work in 2017

Fuck. Even typing that depresses me.

Yesterday my physical therapist, essentially, let me know that there isn’t much they can do to help me. Physically, I am strong. Shooting pains are not something you can desensitize or prevent. I kind of figured that was true, but hearing it sucked.

Great stat to my medical leave, right?

I’m not gonna lie, I am terrified. I was confident that this leave was going to, I don’t know, help? Now it seems that its just the beginning of another dark hole.

I am feeling constant electricity inside my body. My nerves are in fucking overdrive.

I’m going to miss work. Im going to miss my co-workers and friends so much. I have to pause my life at 28, and today that’s becoming way too real.

8 thoughts on “Last day of work in 2017

  1. It sucks, I unfortunately get it. Nearly 2yrs ago now i quit my full time business. Getting to that stage was years in the making. I was terrified of the isolation, of the what am I going to do, of the how am I going to shift to redefine my self worth, etc. now nearly 2yrs later I will say I am overall a happier person now though. The first 10months were hell. Then I started to get the pain under control, I started to figure out what it really means to balance a day for me, i started to figure out how to actually live my life instead of just getting through the work day or as my husband says I’m no longer a living zombie. I will say I have lots of days when I’m lonely. But I’ve also found ways to create a support system and friends that fit better within the lifestyle of managing chronic pain. And now I manage to have energy to have fun. I do things now I never could manage when I was working full time, things I really enjoy. My cost benefit decisions get to be different now. Before I worked and I passed out from pain and fatigue overload. Now I have a life. I hope you find the same. Chronic pain and fibro suck. No doubt about it. And life with them takes a ton of,management and awareness. But I’ve learned if I can find little things to hold,onto it makes a huge difference for me. All the best.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much for your response, it’s so nice to know I’m not alone in this. I will say even after just 3 weeks I could not agree with your statements above more. I feel like I can finally be a person again and not just, to your point, a zombie working and crashing. Hoping everything continues to improve for you 💜

      Liked by 1 person

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